Sadness, and a new challenge

As you know, I am a substitute teacher. I do enjoy it, and I'm pretty good at doing it. It isn't easy for many people to walk into a room full of teenagers and get them to 1) do what you are asking and 2) not set the room on fire (this really did happen to another sub) and 3) want you to come back again. I'm a gifted sub - I can do those things, teach a variety of subjects while I'm at it AND have a laugh with the kids. I also have the luxury of assessing whether or not I want to work on a particular day. This week I have been at home, and loving it. I've exercised like a woman on a mission (Wait!!! I AM a woman on a mission) and it's been great.  Yesterday I got a call from the school asking me to do a stint full time and I accepted.

The computer teacher at the junior high is a lovely woman - fun, vibrant and a great teacher. Her only child, a daughter aged 23, was killed in a skiing accident. I can't even think about it without crying. This girl, who had just graduated from college in June, was spending some time in Colorado, teaching skiing. She was an extreme skier, was skiing with mates in the back country, got separated from her friends, went into a tree well and couldn't get out. The weather got bad and they didn't find her until the next day, when it was too late. I never met her, but her mother was just as proud of her as a mother could be. So Rose and her husband have gone to be with their families and to mourn their beautiful girl. So I will try to keep her room running and the computers from being trashed while she is away.

Working full time presents challenges for someone who is used to calling the the day her own. I know, I know...most other people have to do it everyday, and yes, I do know that I'm lucky.Anyway.... I have to plan ahead - not just food, but most particularly, exercise. I will have to get up a bit over an hour earlier to get my yoga and cardio workout done, and then walk the Giz when i get home from school. Having planned and made a decision to stay on track without the excuses I would have made before feels somewhat easier. It isn't a day to day decision that I either make - or don't make. Plan, lay out my workout clothes, get up, put them on and get on with it.

So, say a prayer for strength for my friend, and tell your kids, or the people you love, that you love them.

Small changes already

The human body never ceases to amaze me. I've been exercising consistently, but in a kind of half-arsed manner for years. I walked the dog most days, did a weights workout a couple of times a week and I think my body got really comfortable with just doing that.  It's like.....nothing new, no big deal. blah, blah, blah.

During the past couple of weeks I have really worked over my workout schedule, and I can tell that there are differences already. I start the day with a 20 minute yoga workout - a different one each day, then either the BL cardio or body sculpt workouts. Then I go about the day's chores and then take Gizmo out for a really fast walk. I'm getting nearly 120 minutes of good and varied exercise each day, which involves sweating, weights, lots of fast movement and a lot of stretching.

The changes I've noticed already are:

• My posture is better, or rather, I'm more conscious of doing the things that make posture good. I notice that my abs and rear end are just tucking in naturally. Weird (but good)
• I can do things from the dvd's that I just couldn't manage last week. I can do many of the stretches much better, and I can do ALL of the cardio work, without quitting.
• I am going up and down the stairs quicker
• The hip that was giving me gip is feeling better, more flexible and much less painful. I am getting closer every day to that elusive "comfortable crossed leg postion". Before, there was absolutely no cross leg position that was even remotely comfortable.

I'm amazed that I can tell a difference already. I don't know what the scales will say on Monday. I've been counting my points and eating really clean foods. I've been drinking lots of water and doing everything that I need to do every day. I'm just used to having no change, and part of me just prepares for that. I am thinking that there will probably be little or no change, because I've added some muscle. I know that saying that sounds defeatist, but past experience tells me that I can't get too excited. 

worries, and why exercise will save me (I hope)

I had tests done last July to measure my Resting Metabolic Rate, or RMR, which is the number of calories the body burns while at rest. Given my age, weight and height, my RMR ought to be approximately 1620 cals. Mine measured in at 840 cals/day. This is not much. This is not good. They repeated the test again and again, but it still came out at that. It has worried me terribly ever since.

After the test, the doctor basically blew me off. He offered no explanation, and no solution. If you were a doctor, wouldn't it pique your interest? Wouldn't you WANT to solve the problem and get to the bottom of why my metabolism crawls like a snail?
It would me. The result upset me terribly. On one hand, it explained things, but on the other hand, it removed some measure of hope. I wake up at night worrying about whether the test was right. I wake up worrying THAT it was right. Then I worry that the worrying has so affected my mindset that everything I do gets screwed up by it, you know, if you believe that something is so....then it is. The whole thing has me in a bunch.

So....what to do? I believe that my thyroid is stablilizing and my next blood test and appointment is at the beginning of March and I have an appointment with another doctor in mid-January. I can't maintain a healthy 750 cal diet but I know that exercise is the best thing in the world for me, and I do enjoy it. In the past, the times when i just forgot about food because I was so busy being physically active were the times when the weight just "fell off". I have to get back to that place. Kind of like my own biggest loser campus.

Every day I take Gizmo out for a fast 40-50 minute walk. I have the best walking track in the world - solitary, beautiful (in a desert beauty kind of way) and soft, because it's a network of dirt roads.I can go a variety of different routes, depending on my mood and the prevailing winds. I am starting to do some yoga every day, which is good for both body and mind. I use a dvd by Sara Ivanhoe, which is great because there are 6 different 20 minute workouts. I am also doing the Biggest Loser cardio workout and am going to start the BL body sculpt workout. I also have to be more active just doing what I do....moving more, moving faster. And somewhere there I need to work in a regular weight training session. I have a great machine....I just need to USE it regularly.

So....that's my plan. Eat clean and count my WW points, but get BUSY, busy, busy..oh, and relax.

me and my lazy dog

I have heard that having a dog is a great tool for health and fitness. Whoever wrote that obviously hasn't met my dog. He isn't the one panting at the door, guilting me into going out into the cold for a long and invigorating walk. No. He is the one lying semi-comatose on the couch, acting as if he has never heard the word "walk".

Yesterday, the new year dawned gray and cold. It wasn't windy, frigid or snowing but rather just kind of cold and depressing. I did my biggest loser cardio routine, but I still wanted to get out and get some fresh air. I mentioned this plan to Gizmo, who looked at me as if I were completely and utterly barking mad. I think that if he had a voice he would sound a bit like Stewie - "What? in this weather? woman, you have departed whatever senses you ever had". I left it for a little bit but then my beloved husband came down and told that dog that he was going for a walk, so I went too.

The minute we got out, Gizmo's demeanor changed. He got right into it. He certainly stopped to pee on quite a few bushes, but otherwise, he trotted along with his head held proudly. At the end of our 40 minute brisk walk, everyone felt better. Cold, pink cheeks (me, not the dog) warm hands and a feeling of having done well.

It just goes to show. Showing up and getting out there is most of the battle. When we just put all our wimpy excuses aside, get out there and do it, we usually end up feeling great.

No more excuses! My new mantra.