not missing...just conflicted

Did anyone see the Biggest Loser on Tuesday?  When the red lady only lost a pound and Jillian was screaming at her?  I was yelling at Jillian, and my kids are going "wow, she's just like you".  That's exactly how it goes for me. Exercise exercise exercise....count calories, count every bite......and...nada.

I started this blog believing that if I just exercised a lot more, and was super-hyper vigilant about every mouthful that I put in my pie-hole, that somehow, eventually, the stars would align and I would prevail. My husband watched me, encouraged me and comforted me when nothing happened. He also gently told me that I had to consider other options, because he could see me going through this for the next 8 years, as he has watched me for the last 8 years.

So.....we went together to a seminar on bariatric surgery to find out more. I went reluctantly, not believing  that it was an option, and I didn't think it was an option that was attractive to me. I didn't want to cop out, and take "the easy way" out and I wanted to do it "the natural way" but the more I listened, the more it seemed that it was a tool, and one that might help my metabolic problems. Apparently, this kind of surgery lets the brain know that the stomach is full, and that there is no starvation going on. I am going to find out a lot more about which procedure would be the most appropriate.

So, there you have it. I felt a bit worried about putting it out here, because it feels a little like I'm letting someone down, but that's crazy. This is my life, and my journey, my body and my health. I need different tools to help me succeed because my metabolism is screwed, so I'm exploring my options